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Last Friday, I was driving home with our seventeen-year-old son. If you follow me on social media or if you read The Wealth of Connection, you might know that Andrew has a business where he lets people hold his tarantulas, scorpions and snakes. He does kids’ birthday parties and corporate events, but the most fun is watching him “out in the wild”, in tourist areas sitting on a park bench. He’ll often have a snake around his neck and a tarantula on his shirt as people walk by.
The responses are awesome. We need a camera crew to show the faces of people as they walk by, almost jumping out of their shoes. I’d say that 65 percent of the people are interested but fearful, 10 percent of the people are indifferent and 35 percent are fascinated, intrigued and very receptive to holding or petting the creatures.
For him and I, it is a great bonding experience. While many parents acknowledge that their teenagers spend less time with them, this has allowed Andrew and I to get closer to one another. We drive together to John’s Pass, or St. Armands Circle- two popular tourist spots in the area, and some of our best conversations happen during those drives.
Often, we discuss the people that he met that night, the conversations he had and the money that he made. It’s not uncommon for him to make well over $200 a night in tips and some nights he made more than $300.
Friday night didn’t go as well. September is one of the lightest tourist months in Florida, and we spent a little more than an hour there as he made less than ten dollars. But come October, it should be back to full speed. Andrew has never been one that’s interested in money, which is a blessing and a curse. He’s incredibly generous with his money, but we’ve had to guide him to understand that earning money is a good thing. Through the years, that conversation has slowly evolved. But Friday night, it hit a different level.
He started talking about possibly buying a car. I was happy to hear that he’s not interested in spending a ton of money on one. He’s saved a few thousand dollars already, but he’s interested in doing more with that money than getting a car.
I mentioned to him that if he saved $1,400 a month- for just three years- that would be $50,000. That money would get him a twenty percent down payment on a $250,000 home. I explained that if he took out a fifteen-year mortgage, he would have a paid-for house by the time he was thirty-five years old without putting anything extra on the principal. With that head start, he could easily knock off another five years with a few extra principal only payments.
I was quietly excited that not only was he receptive, but he was curiously asking questions about it during the drive.
Once I got home, I thought about that some more. And I thought about all of the seventeen-year olds. Right now, they are being herded towards college. Big tuition prices. Big student loan debt. A big time commitment that will take them out of the workforce for four, six and maybe eight years. All for an education that may very well be outdated before they graduate. At the very same time, we are staring at a housing crisis that is not only stressing people out, but leaving so many with not only the inability to buy a home, but also leaving them with sky-high rent prices. So tell me- how do you get out of that? In your twenties, very little saved, paying a few thousand a month in rent. Does anyone else think this structure is setting our kids up for failure?
Tell me- what is the guidance that we give our sixteen and seventeen year olds? Focus on your studies. Get good grades so you can get into (a pricey) college. Do extra-curricular activities for the long shot hope that there will be a scholarship dangled? Or simply, go have fun! You are only young once! Once you have all of these “adult” responsibilities, the fun is over!
Well, guess what? I turned fifty last year, and if I realized how much fun life could be at this age, I would have gotten my finances in order much, much earlier. Oh, how I wish I had been given this same advice. Can you imagine the freedom I would have felt putting all of that money I wasted towards a home and having that thing paid off as quickly as possible? Even if I didn’t want to live there for a long time, I could rent it and already have that income stream set up.
What would our kids’ lives, their opportunities and their future look like if we guided them towards financial freedom at a young age instead of massive debt, unsure education and wasteful spending? First off, there’d be less stress. Secondly, they would enjoy the work they did more because they wouldn’t have to “quiet quit” a job they didn’t like because they learned to earn money on their own and they didn’t need the crappy job. Third, their relationships would be stronger. The number two reason for divorce- outside of infidelity- comes from money struggles. Yet we continue with this crazy cycle that they all need to get right to college after high school is over for “their future.”
We have to ask ourselves- are we really thinking about their future? Because if we were, we’d remember that the biggest, one-time expense that we have goes towards the downpayment of our house.
So, if it’s one of the biggest stresses to their lives in many ways, why in the world aren’t we leading with that? Why aren’t we focusing more on their ability to earn an income at a young age through a skill or a business that they are interested in instead of a class that they don’t care about?
Instead, we lead them through a dark maze that ends with the blinding bright light of outlandish rent prices that they have no choice but to pay and a diminished job market because, for too many, those degrees that used to be so valuable aren’t as valuable as they used to be.
Or they can start saving now. Get the pain out of the way before the expenses in life begin. They have their entire life to figure out exactly what they love doing- very few are fortunate to even know that at such a young age. Why not embrace work, saving and investing as early as possible to make everything else in life possible later?
We’re being led to do it all backwards. And our kids (and our grandkids) are going to pay for it.
Have an AMAZING day!
Vincent
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