Allow Rejection To Create New Opportunities

When I started The Total Life Freedom Mastermind (we didn’t name it until February of 2018), there wasn’t a master plan. We didn’t have a logo, a business plan or even a website. I had been a part of a mastermind with Larry Hagner’s Dad Edge Alliance before he offered for me to lead a new one that he was starting that focused more on business. I had invested in a different mastermind before that as well. 

I had an idea of making a completely different type of mastermind- one that was based on creating a life of freedom through business. Most of the members that I led in Hagner’s group were employees and were trying to find that freedom while maintaining the security of being employed full time. It was then that I saw the vision of what I wanted to lead. 

It wasn’t about wealth, per se. It wasn’t even about business. But, business led to freedom. Being an entrepreneur- if done well and intentionally- not only offers an unlimited income ceiling but also the path to the holy grail- time freedom. And what I found was that employees that weren’t able to see past the security of the job simply wouldn’t have the opportunity to build that freedom. They may be paid very well, and now, with remote work, they might be able to work from wherever. But helping people create that business that gives them time, money and location freedom for their family is what I love to do with my work. 

One of the original members of The Total Life Freedom Mastermind is John VanDerMeulen. When I was toying with the idea of starting the mastermind in 2017, VanDerMeulen was the second person I called for feedback. I wasn’t looking to sell him on joining. I had such a high regard for him as a person that I called to get his advice on the idea, the investment price and the vision. After a fifteen minute call while I paced around our backyard, he cut to the chase. 

 “If you start the mastermind, I’m in,” VanDerMeulen declared.

I was taken off guard. But I quickly became excited. Obviously, someone that I trust for council would be someone that would be a great fit for a business mastermind. Especially from the get go. 

 Because of the network and relationships cultivated over the past few years, seven people who I knew and trusted also asked or agreed to my offer to join. The mastermind began the next week. Hence, the power of a strong network and the willingness to take action quickly. Without a website, social media, branding, an email list or anything that was remotely visible, our first paid mastermind had begun.

 It developed nicely over the next few months. The group developed a stronger chemistry, which is always a challenge when bringing people together online in a growth-minded setting. I was learning, growing and trying to get my feet planted and constantly examining the best ways to lead. 

 VanDerMeulen called me about eight months after he joined. I could hear it in the hesitation of his voice. 

 He was leaving the mastermind. 

 It hit me hard because he was not only the first person to leave, but he was a trusted member of the group. Not only would I miss him, but the rest of the members would as well. I held back my disappointment as he explained why. 

 VanDerMeulen was also in a different mastermind. And he promised his wife that he would only do one in the following year. He explained that it was a tough decision that he stewed on for a few months. 

“I’ll be honest, I get more value from our weekly calls than I do in the other mastermind. I like these a lot better. But the other mastermind does live retreats and you don’t. And I get so much value from those retreats. So I made this decision because of that.” VanDerMeulen explained calmly. 

I hung up the phone, obviously disappointed. Even more so, because he displayed so much integrity in the way that he left, that made me realize the value he brought even more. He could have ghosted, or texted, or emailed to avoid a tough conversation. He had the courage and honor to walk right into it. I respected him even more now. 

I then called my friend Ken Carfagno, who is also a part of the mastermind.

“Guess what,” I said. “We’re doing a live retreat for TLF!”

“We are?” He asked. “Where?”

“I’m not sure,” I responded.

“Okay, when?” He followed up.

“Not sure either,” I answered. 

With gobs of uncertainty, fear and inexperience, the first Total Life Freedom Live Retreat took place in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania five months after those phone calls. 

The live retreats, nearly five years later, are one of the most fun experiences that I get to do. Since then, we have had retreats in San Diego, Gatlinburg, St. Augustine, Sioux Falls, New York, Phoenix, Tampa, multiple ones in Pittsburgh and now Bradenton, Florida. 

They encompass so much of what I love about this world. Bringing great people together in person. That in itself is a huge value. Deep, meaningful conversations without the constraints of an online world. Problem solving with people of high value. The amount of breakthroughs that come out of just a few days together is mind-boggling. The belly laughs that occur because of the engagement, questions and conversations make everyone realize that we don’t do this enough. 

Lives have quite literally changed during these retreats. When you face your challenges with a group of people who not only care, but are strong enough to hold you accountable, is sometimes all it takes to change your life. I’ve often said that if I could emotionally handle it, I would lead a retreat every week. They are that special. 

Do you know what else is special? VanDerMeulen and I kept in touch after he left the mastermind. We still had long conversations. And he called me about eighteen months later to rejoin TLF. 

And he was just here in Bradenton for our latest retreat, where he came away with action steps to build out his own mastermind and membership, but he also shared his wisdom with the rest of the group. 

And it’s funny to think that these retreats that bring so much value, joy and connection only started because he decided to leave the group. 

Sometimes, our greatest gains come from our most painful losses. 

Have an AMAZING day!

Vincent

P.S.- We are opening two Total Life Freedom Live Retreats for early 2023! The first will be on February 23rd and 24th and the second will be on March 2nd and 3rd here in beautiful Bradenton, Florida! Tickets go on sale for TLF Community members on Thursday, November 14th.

There will be two spots open to members on the email list that are not part of the community. This is an amazing opportunity to mastermind, plan and strategize your business with some of the most generous and supportive business owners you will meet! Stay tuned for details!

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