Membership Mailbag
Here’s a question I received for our Membership Mailbag section. I knew that I would need to answer this one here. So here you go!
******************
Vincent,
I have a troll! There is a guy that comments on many posts of mine with his negativity. Sometimes I engage him and I’ve thought about blocking him.
My question is: Do you block a guy like that? He trolls so many things that I post, whether it’s on TikTok or Facebook. Honestly, it doesn’t really bother me too much. It gets engagement and discussion. I didn’t know how much you deal with that, and at what point do you block someone? – Jon
Jon- great question. And it’s something that everyone who creates content is going to deal with when they put themselves out there. There is no way to avoid it unless you choose not to put your opinion out in the world.
I think just like everyone, I have struggled in the past to figure this out. I can be a bit, how would you say, hotheaded? I’d so badly want to prove my point that I would get into the endless arguments online that we’ve all unfortunately had to witness. There is a great meme online somewhere of a guy sitting at the computer while his wife is calling him for dinner. And the response was something like, “But there is someone wrong on the internet!”
Not only would it be a colossal waste of time to argue, but I also failed to realize the obvious that everyone else could read the irrational exchange. I remember about a decade ago my brother messaging me about an argument I had online. I was surprised that he saw it. “Oh yeah,” he said, “I got a notification every time you responded.”
That was the embarrassing introduction that these exchanges can be read- and announced- to anyone and everyone. So I set out to find a much better way. Since I knew that I was going to be creating and posting content that many people were going to disagree with, I had to figure out a better way. Now, you are much more mature about this than I was back then. But this could be helpful to you as you grow.
Here are three things that I figured out and enacted.
1- The Seagull Rule
If you’ve ever encountered a seagull, you know the pattern. They are not around, but suddenly, they fly in out of nowhere. And when they do, they crap all over the place and then fly away. Leaving you with a mess to deal with.
That’s what many internet trolls do. They never comment on posts that agree with you. They never like pictures of your kids, or support your business, or add great engagement to your posts. They only show up out of the blue to crap on something they disagree with, and then fly away.
These are some of the most annoying people to deal with on the internet. They don’t add any value and they only show up to argue.
So I created and enacted “The Seagull Rule.’
The Seagull Rule states that, on my wall, if you haven’t engaged on my wall for a while, you are not allowed to just show up and start an argument or disagreement. You haven’t earned the trust to do so. So I give a warning, which is always enjoyable, when someone does that. I will explain the Seagull Rule. I let them know that they only show up every few months to argue, and if they do it again, their comment will be deleted and they will be blocked. It’s been amazing how quickly some combative people adhere to the rule. Some don’t, and are immediately blocked. My wall, my rules. I encourage you to think about doing the same.
2- The Quick Ending
What trolls crave is engagement and drama. They want an argument. And I’ve created a one-word response that shuts them down, is not rude, and almost immediately ends their engagement. Curious to know what the word is? I will tell you.
Okay!
That’s it. Okay! With an exclamation point. The exclamation point shows that I’m not angry or upset. I actually appear excited by their answer. But I have no interest in further discussion. And it shuts them down completely.
“But you are a moron and your opinion is stupid!”
“Okay!”
At that point, they don’t know what to do. Often, it stops them because I’ve appeared to be fine with their response and I obviously am not looking to engage. So they just fade away. Which is what I wanted to happen.
Occasionally, they will dig in and try to continue.
“Also, your last comment was also wrong and you have no clue about what you are talking about!”
“Okay!”
By then, they realize that they are looking pretty silly because they are arguing with themselves. So they stop.
And that‘s an easy way to end a troll conversation.
3- Block Immediately
If you have no interest in the two points above, and you don’t want drama in your life, just block them. They don’t have a right to post on your wall. It’s your wall, and you can manage it as you see fit. I have a long list of people I have blocked, and I can tell you, life is so much more peaceful without them. And this is coming from a guy who loves debate and I’m not afraid of a disagreement. I learn a ton from them and I actually find them engaging. But I have zero interest in a back and forth with someone who only wants to argue.
Set your rules, be firm with them, and establish the culture of your wall. Judging from the frequency of the amount of times this guy has posted negative stuff, I personally would block him.
And I am going to guess that by the time you read this, you’ve probably already had enough and he’s already been blocked.
Have an AMAZING week!
Vincent
